Synchronizing your sexual longings with those of another person will reward you over and over again. If you or your partner has a sex drive which has slackened off, you owe it to yourselves to find ways to build it up again. This has to be a joint venture; if one person is in the mood for sex and the other couldn’t care less, then there obviously is going to be a no-win situation. Finding that mutual connection takes time and thoughtfulness. What might work for you—a porn movie, for instance—could be a big turn-off for her. On the other hand, slow dancing might be your partner’s preferred way of building to a sex-filled night, but the idea leaves you cold.
One of the best, and mutually satisfying, ways to reignite libido is to rediscover the pleasures of touching. Dr. Robert Broad suggests that partners need to steer away from focusing on the act of sex itself. “There are other ways to use tactile communication with your partner,” he states. “Zero in on touching, one of the most powerful components of human sexuality. Using tactile communication, including kissing, caressing, and petting, just as you did in early courtship, will help you to reexplore sexual sensation and bond you together. They can amp up your sex life because of the tremendous numbers of sensory receptors that are in the skin.”
Sexual researchers, therapists, and counselors have found communicating with your partner through increased touching to be one of the most effective means to expand intimacy and add vitality to a sexual relationship. Many couples find that giving each other a massage is a great way to enhance their mutual attraction as well as boost libido.
*139\183\8*
